Tag: donal

I died from a rattlesnake bite and found myself in line with other zombies in front of a bank  of elevators, the doors opening  and closing as if by metronome.   Every time a door opened a voice called the names of 12 zombies who boarded the elevator single file. As the doors closed, Led Zeppelin  or Bing Crosby played in the background depending on whether the […]

A Puzzling Marriage   Married 60 years Fred and Daisy still are very different people.   All day long they hide their differences to make their marriage last but every night after supper they let them out silently.   Fred in his recliner works  a crossword puzzle while Daisy in the dining room works a jigsaw puzzle   but neither Fred nor Daisy  speaks a word until one has finished and howls […]

Young Priest, Old Priest   Everyone in the neighborhood was surprised when Bill McIntyre entered the seminary to study for the priesthood. He had been dating girls since early in high school and had been engaged since graduating from college to a lovely young lady. He often spoke about wanting to have a big family since he himself had been […]

Remembering His Third Wife   Never speak ill of the dead, his father always said, and his father was a pastor  who preached from the pulpit.   That’s why whenever he thinks of his third wife, and he does almost daily, he never says anything bad.   Instead, he sends himself an email and records for history yet another  evil deed she managed to […]

A Stationary Bicycle The doctor tells Phil and his wife he’s in pretty good health for a man his age but he needs to exercise. And Phil says he agrees and then goes on to explain his faith in recliner therapy. He sits in a recliner for hours, watches TV or reads the paper and wiggles his toes at least three […]

Age Has Curtains An incident in youth never meant to happen recorded on a pad to be read  another time  is found  decades later in a drawer of socks by the writer  who is then on the precipice of age. His reading glasses help him understand who it was  and why he did it. Not so funny now. Can’t apologize. He’s […]

Old Stag Giddy   Elmer’s an old stag now shedding antlers snorting among the trees   but sometimes Martha  after her shower  is a doe beckoning     and he becomes giddy  and heads for the salt lick happy in the breeze

Willie in his 80s now hadn’t made sense in years. His wife understood his grunts from the recliner where she propped him up till bedtime where snoring was music in the night. His grandson told neighbors Gramps had Old-Timer’s Disease, an excellent diagnosis with which doctors agreed. It was time to move Gramps to a home so his wife began […]