A man died on in Germany after he was hit in the head by a flying piece of metal from a blown up condom machine that he and two accomplices destroyed in an apparent robbery attempt. The 29-year-old man was taken to the hospital in the western town of Schoeppingen, near the Dutch border, by the two other men who […]
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■ A North Carolina woman called the 911 emergency line to report that Subway had given her a flatbread pizza made with marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce. ‘It’s terrible, and I got my receipt” Bevalente Hall, 37, told 911 operators. “I can’t eat that kind of sauce.” She was arrested and charged with misuse of the 911 system.
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Deputy Accidentally Shoots His Mother In Church You would think that police officers would be the most responsible gun owners… No? After all, they are experts, having received training in how to properly handle firearms — or so we would think! If that were entirely true, then we wouldn’t be left wondering how a McCracken County deputy sheriff shot his […]
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A British fisherman was arrested after stealing a sea bass from an aquarium to win a fishing competition. Matthew Clark, 29, won a trophy and $1,300 in prize money for the 13-pound fish. But rival anglers quickly recognized the bass’s distinctive markings from a local aquarium and reported him to police. Clark confessed and said he sold the prizewinner to […]
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A man snorkeling in the Colorado River near the Arizona and California border sent authorities on a hunt after he alerted them to what appeared to be “skeletal remains” at the bottom of the river. After he called police in Arizona, authorities launched a search for the remains on Monday, and divers from the Buckskin Fire Department swam down to […]
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A driver who parked his car taking up two parking spaces was treated to a series of very humorous passive-aggressive notes on his windshield. Irked motorists left a series of handwritten notes on the car after it was spotted sprawled across the two family parking spots at supermarket in West Bridgford, Nottingham. Kirk Ward, 28, snapped the shoddy parking and […]
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They’ve left no notes behind. And it’s fairly certain they’re not doing it for the insurance money. But “suicidal deer” are apparently such a big problem in Paxton, Ill. that its county is installing signs to warn drivers. Calling the deer “suicidal,” of course, may be something of a misnomer. More likely, they just don’t know to be cautious around […]
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And now a word from our sponsor…. Originally appeared in Mad Magazine. ©2016 Mad Magazine
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■ Residents of New York City’s SoHo neighborhood are now paying a delivery service $100 for a single “Cronut”— a trendy new combination of a croissant and donut.The line at the bakery that makes the coveted pastries begins forming at 5 a.m., with a limit of two per customer. So Premium Cronut Delivery sends employees to stand on line.The price […]
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He’s got a knife! Drunk monkey goes on the rampage in Brazil. Drunk monkey brandishing huge knife terrorizes bar in booze-fueled rampage after drinking rum. A video shows the little Capuchin attacking the roof of the bar with the foot-long kitchen knife after chasing after drinkers. Customers at a bar were given a scare when the drunk monkey snatched […]
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