When we hire people, we like to know their limitations, said Mr. Acre, commandant of personnel. Look at Phil with his arm and hook. We could see the problem when we hired him. We’ve hired others with limitations not as obvious and that has backfired. You and I have limitations no one can see. If ours were obvious, someone […]
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Finding a Refugee a Home Fuzzy wasn’t my cat although I fed him every morning at four o’clock for 10 years. He was my wife’s cat, loved to sit on her lap, be petted, jump down and rub his head against her feet. He was a Maine Coon cat who arrived at our door as a refugee without papers or a green card. Probably was a pet once; someone […]
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I died from a rattlesnake bite and found myself in line with other zombies in front of a bank of elevators, the doors opening and closing as if by metronome. Every time a door opened a voice called the names of 12 zombies who boarded the elevator single file. As the doors closed, Led Zeppelin or Bing Crosby played in the background depending on whether the […]
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A Puzzling Marriage Married 60 years Fred and Daisy still are very different people. All day long they hide their differences to make their marriage last but every night after supper they let them out silently. Fred in his recliner works a crossword puzzle while Daisy in the dining room works a jigsaw puzzle but neither Fred nor Daisy speaks a word until one has finished and howls […]
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The uncommon is common in America today. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, Seinfeld might have said to George had they seen the latest Glamour Magazine naming Caitlyn Jenner Woman of the Year. The public seems to agree. No placards hit the air. but Caitlyn has to stand and spray what other women sit to tinkle. Author […]
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Young Priest, Old Priest Everyone in the neighborhood was surprised when Bill McIntyre entered the seminary to study for the priesthood. He had been dating girls since early in high school and had been engaged since graduating from college to a lovely young lady. He often spoke about wanting to have a big family since he himself had been […]
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Fifty years ago Jane got on a plane and flew away without saying good-bye. Her parents took her, I know. She was only 14 but she could have said good-bye to me, the swain who saw her through our last three years of grammar school when she wore braces, the only girl who had them. Fifty years later at our […]
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Remembering His Third Wife Never speak ill of the dead, his father always said, and his father was a pastor who preached from the pulpit. That’s why whenever he thinks of his third wife, and he does almost daily, he never says anything bad. Instead, he sends himself an email and records for history yet another evil deed she managed to […]
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A Stationary Bicycle The doctor tells Phil and his wife he’s in pretty good health for a man his age but he needs to exercise. And Phil says he agrees and then goes on to explain his faith in recliner therapy. He sits in a recliner for hours, watches TV or reads the paper and wiggles his toes at least three […]
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Age Has Curtains An incident in youth never meant to happen recorded on a pad to be read another time is found decades later in a drawer of socks by the writer who is then on the precipice of age. His reading glasses help him understand who it was and why he did it. Not so funny now. Can’t apologize. He’s […]
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